9:00 P.M. -- 9:15 P.M.:
I'm going to talk about how just how wonderful I am and how I have such amazing abilities.

9:15 P.M. -- 9:30 P.M:
After I'm done telling you that "I'm Not Political" I'm going to talk about how horrible Obama is and how all
Democrats are Communists and how the country is becoming Communist and how the government is
getting ready to murder 25 million Americans.

9:30 P.M. -- 9:45 P.M:
Now I'm going to beg you to send me money even though I own millions of dollars in property, businesses,
and cash accounts.

9:45 P.M. -- 9:55 P.M:
Now I'm going to tell you how wonderful all my high school dropout sons are and how successful they all
are and how they all made it on their own, but I will conveniently forget to tell you how I got them all
hundreds of thousands of dollars in interest free loans and gifts from my brainwashed followers to start
businesses and how I even bought businesses for my high school dropout daughter.

9:55 P.M. -- 10:00 P.M:
Now I'm going to take a call and practice Psychology without a license -- because a loophole in most state
laws allow a minister to counsel his churchgoers. But then again, this year I want to be a church for
maximum tax deductions, but these years I don't want to be a church for opposite reasons--I just can't
make up my mind about that. It's just so confusing.