ROY CHOOSES HIS REPLACEMENT!
Roy Masters has chosen his replacement to carry on his legacy as
cult leader and self-proclaimed advice giver. Roy, who has been
reminding his audience that he knows he doesn't have much time left,
has decided to officially select the person who will carry on as the
official spokesman for the Foundation of Human Understanding.
"Most people thought it would be David Masters, but he is missing
some of the needed qualities of one of my lesser know sons," said
the aging self-proclaimed wise man.
"I have selected Chuckie Masters, the youngest of the Masters
boys. We have kept him hidden away all these years at the Tall
Timber Ranch where he keeps himself occupied in the woods and
ocassionally interacting with visitors."
"It was a tough choice for me. Neither Chuckie nor David are in
control of their emotions and regularly throw bizarre tantrums, but
both have been under my thumb all their lives and seem to like it. The
big difference is that Chuckie is very convincing with people. He
seems to always get his way and his point across. David is lacking in
Roy says that he will retire soon and Chuckie will take right over.
Chuckie briefly commented on the announcement. "Either donate to
the Foundation or I'll kill all you little bastards."